Friday, October 20, 2006

Spinning Times

Having this title put up most of the time just makes this blog sound a little bit dull and repetitive. But of course, it's titles like these which make me feel like typing out a bunch of crap which probably a couple of my friends will read it.

Since my birthday, there has been a great amount of change. More noticeably during these couple of weeks. Responsibilities have been piling up, and yet, I have been able to cope with it and work around it. For instance, having juggle my salary and savings with the expendiatures of going for a trip with the company to Bali for 6 days, car insurance and road tax, gym membership fee, mom's birthday present to be, a road trip over the weekend and of course my year ending plan of going to Singapore for a Christmas with Singaporean chiqs. Hopefully, the amount of finances which is going into that trip will be worth it.

So, yes, my company is going to Bali for 6 days. Of course, before this decision, we were asked to choose between Bali, Melbourne or Sydney, Maldives or Mauritius. Seeing that I'm not much of a beach person, I opted for Melbourne at the start. This of course is because I'm absolutely in love with "kwai lo" countries. But I then got news that Maldives is the place where the hottest chics are and they are there to sunbathe! But before I got my chance to say that I had a change of heart in our destination, we suddenly got an email saying, "Ok! We're all going to BALI!! Wooohoo!!". Of course, if it was Bali from the start, I would have no problem. I would have loved the idea of just being able to go for a trip after only joining the company for 4 months and just got confirmed a couple of weeks ago. But, having thrown in all the options of the other destinations, of course Bali would be like asking us to go to Kelantan or something. Nevertheless, a trip is a trip, and I'm very thankful to the company for bringing me along.

And YES, I did join the gym very recently. Probably caused by the sudden spark of responsibility in me telling myself that I should take control of my life and not just leave it lying around and enjoying myself while waiting for fruits to drop. I have to fix my problems myself! Of course starting the gym would help me achieve what I'm looking for, so I had to. Now if only I had the determination to go there at least 3 times a week for the next 3 years. We'll see about that.

Finally, the year end is approaching. Things to look forward to are the few Advertising Awards Shows, the return of my buddies from Australia, the time where bonus'es are possible, the time where EVERYONE is on holiday, the time where everyone is just so jolly BECAUSE they're on holiday, and of course, not forgetting that Chinese New Year is around the corner. =P

Life is just going smoothly at the moment. With the exception of those few decisions which make it a little hard, it's all a learning experience which I love to absorb and I think doing things like these make me wiser. So instead of just growing older, I'm adding my wisdom along with it.

Friends, although not many close ones, have been there for me. Excluding the occasional few which just irritate the craps out of me, the rest have been making my life a wee bit happier. Of course, throwing in a girl in that picture would just boost the happiness rating by a huge ratio, but I still have to keep in my head the thought of "Patience is Golden".

Monday, August 21, 2006

Quarter a Century

I've been trying to run away from this reality for a very long time. At least for a year. But it has finally arrived, and I am now officially 25. It's not a very nice number for me because it seems that the ratio for my number of achievements to my age is not nicely balanced. After being this age for just over a day, thoughts about being alittle bit more responsible and spreading wiser thoughts to my friends have been flying around in my head. There is no turning back and it's a road I have to face with sufficient bravery.

This 25th has been a very very memorable birthday. Firstly and mainly because of a surprise party/BBQ which was held for me. Never before in my previous 24 years have I ever had friends throw me a surprise party. The original plan was for me to buy them dinner as an annual gesture to just let them know that it's my birthday. But, never did I expect a diversion to a friends grandma's house to do a quick drop off before reaching our eating destination which in the end resulted to a walk-in to a BBQ which I just mentioned to a friend "eh, got BBQ over there.. let's crash it man" (this of course was just me joking). And all of a sudden the lights were turned on and alot of familiar faces were in there. I got really shocked and finally understood that it was actually a surprise for me. Although I had put on my usual "expressionless" face, I was really really shocked from the inside. I was left speechless for at least 5 minutes and I didn't know what to say because I didn't like people going through so much trouble for me. Made me feel alittle guilty. But of course, seeing that it was my birthday, I gratefully appreaciated the thought.

Of course, with the ups, there are also the downs. Mainly more downs of course, this was because it has been an annual ritual for me to know that I'm extra lucky on my birthday, but I was proven wrong this time as I lost alot on some wagers. Felt like shit at first, but then I realised that it will never be the same every year. It's a lesson which I have learnt and kept for later purposes.

It was a fairly OK birthday, with alot of people calling or messaging me. Mostly people which I haven't had contact with for ages. Not knowing their intentions for the call, but seeing that it's my birthday, I had to let it slide.

My only greatest disappointment this birthday was for NOT receiving a gesture in a form of a sms, a call or anything of that sort from a person which I recently thought that I had fixed some bad blood(non-talking terms) with. Originally I thought that maybe that person was busy, but up till the end of my birthday, which was 40 minutes ago when the clock struck 12, I finally decided that this just meant that the person just never cared. I was foolish enough to think that things were just on the way to being OK, but I guess I was wrong again and betrayed yet again. For that, my 25th birthday just became one of my most depressing yet happy birthday. Which is the reason for me to call this my most memorable birthday.

Thanks alot to those who bothered, disappointments for those who didn't.

By the way, this is the guys who gave me my surprise. Thanks again.

Monday, July 31, 2006

Times are changing YET again

It's been pretty much a hell of a week.. or maybe 2 weeks. From a PCD concert, Miss Malaysia/World Dinner, alittle bit of Clubbing and alot of going out. It's been pretty fun being a different person from what I usually am. Somehow with a couple of my friends being back from Melb, I seem to change. I don't know how long will this last, but hopefully as long as possible. Changing in a sense that I'm nicer, friendlier, somehow more on the same channel as them. It feels good. Need to make it last!

It seems that I've put this writing alittle too long on hold till I've lost all my words. I've been wanting very badly to say things about what happened, progresses and the works, but don't feel like it, so I might re-do this alittle later, for now, it's just been a cool week and of course with the addition of meeting up a few people which I have missed dearly, just tops it all off. Need more of those around.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Road TRIPS!!!

Things have been on a high currently. Mainly sparked by my 3 weekend road trips with a bunch of buddies which could just make my life alittle more interesting. Destinations are Genting, Melaka and Ipoh. Have already gone for the first and it's pretty fun to just let go of everything and just have fun. Not caring about what the gang would think about me if I did whatever I did. Just have fun. Things would naturally fall into place from there. Although it's not very easy to just turn off everything and have fun with this group, at least I try hard enough. I predict a disappointment soon, but I doubt I'm gonna let myself get affected by this. I have to push myself over walls now in order to live my life in a sanely fashion.

Everything seems to be on a high as well in terms of everything else. Financially would be the key aspect of course. Also, confidence with people around me seems like a big factor. Gives me more courage to do other things as well. I guess these kinda things usually happen in a chain. More money would mean more confidence which would mean friendlier and happier which would mean everything is going right. Sounds alittle wrong to be putting everything in it for the money, but I guess life sorta revolves around that?

I have alot to say, but seeing that I'm alittle happy, I block out everything which I want to complain about because it might just drop the mood alittle. Really don't wanna do that because road trip number 2 is coming up in a meer 36 hours or possibly less. Just block block block. =)

Btw, finally met up with my ex-classmate/ex-colleague/close friend after a long time. Feels good to see her again and talk about things we used to talk and just do things to irritate her like how I did last time. Although no other meets will be any time soon, at least it just made me happier again. Yet another plus point in this blog.

I really hope that this stays up for a pretty long time because I really don't wanna be posting about stories which I usually complain about. =) Enjoy the weekend!

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Updates from the Beginning

Things have certainly been different after being able to start over and do things right. New place, New attitude, New environment and New ME! Having set right a thing which I should have done before, I have. I feel like a heavy boulder has been lifted from my chest and I see the world in a better light now. Although those are words that might hurt, but I'm only doing it more as a return favour.

Having this new environment and new people around me is pretty ok. Although I'm still trying very hard to get used to it, its a pretty fun process. The World Cup just makes things alittle easier though... more topics. =) Hope it'll all turn out well in due time.

Of course, another important thing which has happened to me is that I think I've found something that I've lost. Although I don't know if it's a good thing that I did that, but at least it's better than having nothing at all to look forward to. I'm on dreamland and it might be alittle dangerous. I think it's time I get back to reality and stop pushing my hopes high or else I might just fall deep into a trap of confusion and darkness. We'll see how that goes.

Keeping this super short, I've got nothing else to say.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Eve Of a NEW Beginning

So tomorrow will be the day that I start off in a new company. After 2 weeks of relaxing and time wasting holiday, it's finally back to work. Although I'm not pretty sure if I'm able to charge up my thinking cells, I have to try and make it work at the new place. I'm scared to face the change but yet it's gonna be a hell of an experience. Also, juggling the different hours of sleep alongside with the World Cup, going to work might be alittle tough. =P

Well, these past 2 weeks have given me alot of time to think about alot of things. Thinking about the mistakes I might have done previously. Although I feel like changing the things I have said and done, I believe it will be useless if I were given another shot to do the same things over again. I would have failed terribly. I have learnt that the things I have done were for a reason. I did it not because I was childish and immature at that time, but because I felt used and was lied to. I hate being lied to. I hate people breaking promises. I hate people saying that they'd never do things, but end up doing it. So, I guess what I did was right. No regrets on whether I should have turned back and said sorry.

It's time to start over. Adapting to a new environment is obviously gonna be really hard but the guys over there seem easy to accomodate so hopefully I'll perform to their expectations. Finger crossings aside, I believe I have the strength and the mindset to do this with my eyes closed, so let's MOVE TOWARDS THE FUTURE.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

I Finally Did IT

Well, it's finally over. My 3 long year of working for my beloved company is over. I finally drew up enough courage to actually resign. To take up the offers which have been coming my way all the while but i just pushed away. So, I really decided that it's about time to move on and leave it all behind for possibly a better life, a better future and most probably a happier environment.

With my leaving, I obviously leave behind alot of things which I dont' like. Obviously, saying things like these out would be pretty bad. But there are also numerous things which I dread leaving behind. After having drinks on the last day, I'm feeling pretty shitty. Feeling that I shouldnt' have done this. Of course, when I'm sober, I'd know that I was just being stupid. But, having to leave things behind is really not fun. Having left behind my biggest issue I had in my life there says it all. It's really a relieve to leave it, but after doing so, I regret not doing things properly, not fixing things up and leaving properly, and of course, regret not being to say things which I've always wanted to say to someone. If only I could turn back time.

So, with that in mind, I would really like to say that it's been a pleasure working with the people at AA Ex and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to find something as nice as this, but hopefully very very close. Thanks for the teachings, love, chances and friendships along the way as well. It will always be remembered.